This article was originally published in SISTERS Magazine http://sisters-magazine.com
This is a great question! Weaning can be quite easy or extremely painful for parents and child, depending on how it’s approached. All breast-feeding mothers know that it has to happen one day, but how and when to do it can be the subject of some debate and disagreement.
This is a great question! Weaning can be quite easy or extremely painful for parents and child, depending on how it’s approached. All breast-feeding mothers know that it has to happen one day, but how and when to do it can be the subject of some debate and disagreement.
Reader, you mentioned following attachment parenting. To give a brief overview, attachment parenting is a philosophy and style of parenting that centers around 8 basic principles to facilitate developing an optimal connection and relationship between parent and child. The principles are: preparing for parenting, feeding with love and respect, responding with sensitivity, using nurturing touch, ensuring safe sleep – physically and emotionally, providing consistent and loving care, practicing positive discipline, and striving for balance in personal and family life. As you can see, overall, these ideas are consistent with Islamic beliefs about parenting. Some parents adhering to attachment parenting prefer child-led weaning, where the mother continues to nurse until the child indicates she or he is ready to stop. In this case the child, by his or her feeding patterns and behavior, determines how weaning progresses.
However, for some parents complete child-led weaning is not practical and they may have reasons for wanting to initiate the weaning process a bit earlier – including going back to work or other responsibilities that make it difficult to continue breast-feeding on demand.
Medically, breast-feeding is recommended for at least a year, with some solid foods being introduced after 6 months (American Academy of Pediatrics). According to Islam, mothers are recommended to nurse for up to two years.
The Quran states ,‘The mothers shall suckle their children for two years completely for those who desire to complete the term of suckling, but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mothers food and clothing on a reasonable basis… if they both decide on weaning by mutual consent there is no sin on them. And if you decide on a foster mother to suckle your children there is no sin on you provided you pay what you agreed on a reasonable basis’ (Surah2:Ayat 233)
Technically, the weaning process begins when you start to offer some other source of nutrients besides your milk to your child. Patterns may change and weaning can last up to a few months, even years in some cases. Generally, children eventually will wean on their own, but not before 1 year.
Most ‘experts’ agree that gradual weaning is best for both mother and child – since the mother is also strongly impacted by ending the breast-feeding process, which was a strong bonding experience for her as well (according to attachment parenting it is a loss for the mother too).
Medically, breast-feeding is recommended for at least a year, with some solid foods being introduced after 6 months (American Academy of Pediatrics). According to Islam, mothers are recommended to nurse for up to two years.
The Quran states ,‘The mothers shall suckle their children for two years completely for those who desire to complete the term of suckling, but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mothers food and clothing on a reasonable basis… if they both decide on weaning by mutual consent there is no sin on them. And if you decide on a foster mother to suckle your children there is no sin on you provided you pay what you agreed on a reasonable basis’ (Surah2:Ayat 233)
Technically, the weaning process begins when you start to offer some other source of nutrients besides your milk to your child. Patterns may change and weaning can last up to a few months, even years in some cases. Generally, children eventually will wean on their own, but not before 1 year.
Most ‘experts’ agree that gradual weaning is best for both mother and child – since the mother is also strongly impacted by ending the breast-feeding process, which was a strong bonding experience for her as well (according to attachment parenting it is a loss for the mother too).
For mom, it is a good idea to think about whether there are any particular pressures for wanting to wean at a specific time. How do you know when it’s time to start? Some children may give signs they are ready to wean, even before the mother decides to begin the process. For example, they may become disinterested or irritated during feedings. As with most things related to childrearing consistency and setting limits can be helpful, even when you chose child-led approach to weaning. Bottom line, approaching weaning in a way that is comforting and predictable for your child will minimize the frustration for you, your child and your family and help you all celebrate baby’s development and growing up!
Some Weaning Tips Include:
Some Weaning Tips Include:
- Go about the process gradually by: skipping a feeding (maybe dropping one per week), which also reduces the risk of engorgement; shortening the time of feedings; and following feedings with a healthy snack
- Replace feedings with other bonding activities and experiences, such as cuddling, playtime, a specific book that you read or song you sing together
- Before starting to wean, give a bottle of breast milk to your baby to facilitate comfort receiving a bottle later on
- Reflect. Because of certain changes in your life or your child going through other developmental transitions, you may consider delaying or slowing down the weaning process
- Remember that it is not a black or white, either/or event, but rather a process that takes patience and a bit of flexibility.
